If you hang out long enough in the hunting world, you’ll quickly realize there are a lot of different types of folks out there. There are the dyed-in-the-wool rednecks with giant trucks, Confederate flags and muddin’ tires, and there are the eco-conscious adventure seekers who spend the off-season mountaineering in Argentina or surfing in California. Some shop at Walmart and others at Whole Foods, but together we make up one big, happy family.
Any way you look at it, the diversity of our community is what makes it so unique. It also means we can stop from time to time and have a good hearty laugh as we poke a bit of friendly fun at each other’s quirks. We’ll probably always make sport, for instance, of the idiosyncrasies of our redneck brethren—even if we happen to fall into that category—and we’ll always crack a few jokes about the Frappuccino-buying yuppies in our midst.
It’s in that spirit we sat down for a humorous look at what your camo choices say about you. At the end of the day, you can’t take yourself too seriously. Have a good laugh and be inspired to heckle your buddies about their camo preferences, too.
- Some people do yoga, but if your hunting attire consists of flannel and wool, your moment of inner peace comes only after you’ve killed a deer with the same rifle you used to fight the Germans in World War II. You like the way cold steel feels in your bare hand, and nothing caps off a good meal of red meat and potatoes like a glass of Scotch and a fine cigar. You stay away from salads because no, you are not a rabbit, and you would never think of drinking anything with fruit or an umbrella in it. You’re a Miller High Life man, and you often chop wood in your backyard without a shirt on, just to feel your chest hair glisten in the sun.
Anyone with long hair is called a “hippie,” and anyone who has a thick beard or stache on his face is called a “man.” Guys who wear designer clothes in the field are called “yuppie pretty boys” and clearly never lived through the Great Depression. The thought of hand lotion makes you nauseous, so instead you lather up your bear paws with a bottle of Hoppe’s No. 9. If deer don’t like the smell of Hoppe’s and bacon grease, well they can kiss your all-American backside.